just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
