Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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