I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
