I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
