i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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