She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
