Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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