sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
