I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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