Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
