im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
