Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
