sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
