Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
