matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
