69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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