perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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