So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
