It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
