Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
