Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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