He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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