you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
