I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
