Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just want nice things and good sex
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
