Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
