Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
