What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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