too bad you live with your parents still
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there is puke in my bra ... again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
