dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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