There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
