Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it's great music for shaving your balls
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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