I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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