I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
