ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize
