It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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