Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
