i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
