Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
