if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
