It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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