there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I just put wine in my tea
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
