girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
