I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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