maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
