I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
