Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
