I wanna passion pit in your ass
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
