I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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