We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
