i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
