Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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